GAMES: Jumpy, Jumpy. Punchy, Punchy. Crackdown 2 : Xbox 360

I looked at the first Crackdown without much enthusiasm. It was a golden ticket into the Halo 3 beta, that is the only reason I wanted it.

But it really was a golden ticket, because it was a surprise. I bit into that chocolate, prepared for gawd awful dark chocolate taste but got some sweet, sweet milk chocolate.

The original Crackdown was SO fun to play. The premise wasn't overly intricate, but the delivery was very well done.


I approached Crackdown 2 with a bit of excitement, but I was prepared for it to be crappy as well, because Realtime Worlds was not behind this one.

Well I was not disappointed...in my disappointment. It was disappointing.

Jumping super high and collecting agility orbs was my favorite part of the first one, that carries over. The rest of the game is also similar, but because it is the SECOND one, it should be different.

Sequels are supposed to improve on the brand, not carbon copy and then throw in some annoying zombie things that make movement at night annoying as hell.


But I would play the game, I would suffer the stupid squishy creatures of the night just for the fun of jumping from rooftop to rooftop, but I can't. The voice-over, announcer guy makes me want to yell most of the time. Occasionally, he's funny. Describing the traction of the Agency Supercar by saying it "sticks to the road like shit to a blanket."

But the rest of the time I want to find him and use my agent's super strength to choke that guy til his throat pops. Sorry...that was a bit much.

Anyway, you get to hear this D-bag give you helpful tips like "collect agility orbs while you are on foot around the city" or "complete vehicle stunt challenges for a major boost to your driving skill." But he always says them over and over while you are doing something else, and NEVER while you are actually in a position to do those things.

There are quite a few issues, technically, like aiming and camera placement. As a baddie car rolls up and two guys get out your aim, more often than not, sticks on the car. It also often jumps to a Agency car or a civilian car. SUPER annoying.

But I think I'd fire bomb all the civilians anyway, because they don't respect me! Mr. Announcer Man can yell at me all he wants about not running over civies or agency peace keepers, but SCREW THAT. None of those idiots get out of the way when you are driving down the road, EVER!

Even with lights and sirens on no one moves. WHAT THE HELL? Yeah, I don't want to kill the pedestrian traffic, but I'm chasing a renegade driving orb here. I don't have time to try and miss all these idiots. The orb is the one that chose to cut up on to the sidewalk and down the alley full of people.



The only saving grace this game might have is multiplayer, which I couldn't do because I don't want to play with some random person and I don't know anyone who rented it. But I don't think even that is enough to get me to rent it again.


Crackdown 2
Rented once. Likely never again

1.25 out of 5 as a sequel
2.5 out of 5 if you haven't played previous versions (just go rent the first one)