Laid off, pissed off, disappointed and hopeful. Confused?

It's been a few days now so my initial frustration has subsided but I was laid off at my paper this week. I don't hold any ill will or whatever to anyone at the paper, but I have been watching newspapers circle the drain and I want to vent about it in broad terms.

Anyone even remotely close to newspapers is familiar with the looming beast of layoffs.

I've been through layoffs at papers before, seen people that work hard get cut for no other reason than to get the budget in line. Others stay for reasons that no one else in the newsroom can figure out.

Others have said for years now that newspapers are dying. It doesn't take a genius to see that. I got into newspapers at a bad time; I almost typed "the worst time," but honestly that is every day. Every day accountants that make decisions to keep the ridiculous profit margins that newspapers held in their prime, but what they are really doing is just squeezing the life out of them. That reduces the quality which reduces the readership which reduces the advertisers.

It's like the number crunchers and people in charge are standing there watching the water boil over on the stove, notice all the paint peeling on the wall and see their curtains are missing; they try to deal with the individual problems instead of realizing that their fucking house is on fire. But they are just letting it burn and handing the still smoking vestiges to their employees expecting them to carry on like the roof isn't coming down sooner or later.

The death of newspapers is an inside job.

Of course journalists will make due; people shift responsibilities and take on far more duties to keep the paper going. Partly, yes, because they survived and are glad to still have a job...but more aptly because they love the work. Journalism isn't something you do for money, it's a passion, it's a calling. All these hedge fund guys and accountants know they can just ring the living hell out of the staff because journalists can and will take it.

Oh, they will complain, sure. The three things most journalists do best is their jobs, drink and complain. But they will usually take any and all injustice handed down from the corporate level and still do their jobs.

I don't know if there has been a journalist strike in America in recent history and I can't really see it happening.

It is the same principle as police, firefighters and doctors/nurses; the public would suffer. Obviously not in the same way. If your paper doesn't show up your day won't be ruined like if your house burnt to the ground, but over time an uninformed populace will suffer.

It might seem like that is pretty lofty ideal of the role of a newspaper, but that is the beating heart of dedicated journalism. You crank out your work day after day until something amazing comes in front of you and then you hopefully get to tell a story that changes something.

Well, despite this recent soul crushing experience I still want journalism in my life. I have been working on a plan to make something of my own in the realm of journalism for the last year or so. I'm was hoping to push it out into the world near the end of the year to see if there was any interest and hopefully start to find backers and partners.

I don't want to launch it too early out of panic because I'm unemployed, so I'm going to keep working on it and hopefully I'll have something to share in the near future.