It's been a few days now so my initial frustration has subsided but I was laid off at my paper this week. I don't hold any ill will or whatever to anyone at the paper, but I have been watching newspapers circle the drain and I want to vent about it in broad terms.
Anyone even remotely close to newspapers is familiar with the looming beast of layoffs.
I've been through layoffs at papers before, seen people that work hard get cut for no other reason than to get the budget in line. Others stay for reasons that no one else in the newsroom can figure out.
Others have said for years now that newspapers are dying. It doesn't take a genius to see that. I got into newspapers at a bad time; I almost typed "the worst time," but honestly that is every day. Every day accountants that make decisions to keep the ridiculous profit margins that newspapers held in their prime, but what they are really doing is just squeezing the life out of them. That reduces the quality which reduces the readership which reduces the advertisers.
It's like the number crunchers and people in charge are standing there watching the water boil over on the stove, notice all the paint peeling on the wall and see their curtains are missing; they try to deal with the individual problems instead of realizing that their fucking house is on fire. But they are just letting it burn and handing the still smoking vestiges to their employees expecting them to carry on like the roof isn't coming down sooner or later.
The death of newspapers is an inside job.
Of course journalists will make due; people shift responsibilities and take on far more duties to keep the paper going. Partly, yes, because they survived and are glad to still have a job...but more aptly because they love the work. Journalism isn't something you do for money, it's a passion, it's a calling. All these hedge fund guys and accountants know they can just ring the living hell out of the staff because journalists can and will take it.
Oh, they will complain, sure. The three things most journalists do best is their jobs, drink and complain. But they will usually take any and all injustice handed down from the corporate level and still do their jobs.
I don't know if there has been a journalist strike in America in recent history and I can't really see it happening.
It is the same principle as police, firefighters and doctors/nurses; the public would suffer. Obviously not in the same way. If your paper doesn't show up your day won't be ruined like if your house burnt to the ground, but over time an uninformed populace will suffer.
It might seem like that is pretty lofty ideal of the role of a newspaper, but that is the beating heart of dedicated journalism. You crank out your work day after day until something amazing comes in front of you and then you hopefully get to tell a story that changes something.
Well, despite this recent soul crushing experience I still want journalism in my life. I have been working on a plan to make something of my own in the realm of journalism for the last year or so. I'm was hoping to push it out into the world near the end of the year to see if there was any interest and hopefully start to find backers and partners.
I don't want to launch it too early out of panic because I'm unemployed, so I'm going to keep working on it and hopefully I'll have something to share in the near future.
About Evon
- Ryan Evon
- I am a photographer, a sometimes writer, a gamer, a driver and more. I graduated from Central Michigan University with a double major in Journalism(Photo) and English(Creative Writing). Any Photos are copyright Ryan Evon, The Facts or the Morning Sun 2010/2011/2012. All words by, representing and claimed by Ryan Evon & only him, unless in quotation marks & specified otherwise.
Showing posts with label journalism. Show all posts
Showing posts with label journalism. Show all posts
Saturday, May 5, 2012
Monday, March 26, 2012
A Swinging good time
Had a nice change of pace from my recent mood of edging on being burnt out with my job that still has my journalistic juices flowing after a fun weekend.
At the end of last week an a capella group, the Swingle Singers, visited the local college for a performance while they tour Texas. The group did a workshop for local schools and singers the day before their performance. It took forever to start because schools that were supposed to show up didn't, which was a shame for them, because everyone else had a blast.
They made the audience warm up by jumping around and being crazy, played fun singing games and then listened to local groups sing and gave them critiques, then performed themselves.
I was shooting video through the whole thing, trying to balance video and still photo. Sadly they both suffered a little, but it all turned out decent. It was really fun to shoot, I had the songs stuck in my head and when I went home at the end of the day and I started throwing the video pieces together.
Quickly I realized I should have done an interview with the singers. There wasn't really time to do it at the event though. So I vented my disappointment on various venues of the www. One of the singers from the group saw it and said they would be up for an interview.
So the next day after I finished work and hurried over to the venue they were performing at, not sure when they were supposed to be done or if they were even still around.
But the god of journalism, I call him Journalisto, was smiling down on me, because I got there just as they were walking out of the building to load their gear.
I got some interview stuff with two of the singers, the sound level was a little low but it was way better than the nothing I had previously.
So I left there on a journalistic high and it has been carrying me until now. I spent a large chunk of my day off on Sunday putting the video together. I have most of my recent "highlight" videos boiled down to an hour or so production time.
But because I cared about this video (and am using a crappy free video editor) I spent hours nitpicking the placement and overlaps and transitions. Now I feel like I know these people, I've developed crushes on the girls and fascinations with all of their talents. I've watched a few of their videos online, one where they do a flash mob style singing on a subway in London was awesome.
So I present to you, my Swingle Singers video. Enjoy, I did. :D
At the end of last week an a capella group, the Swingle Singers, visited the local college for a performance while they tour Texas. The group did a workshop for local schools and singers the day before their performance. It took forever to start because schools that were supposed to show up didn't, which was a shame for them, because everyone else had a blast.
They made the audience warm up by jumping around and being crazy, played fun singing games and then listened to local groups sing and gave them critiques, then performed themselves.
I was shooting video through the whole thing, trying to balance video and still photo. Sadly they both suffered a little, but it all turned out decent. It was really fun to shoot, I had the songs stuck in my head and when I went home at the end of the day and I started throwing the video pieces together.
Quickly I realized I should have done an interview with the singers. There wasn't really time to do it at the event though. So I vented my disappointment on various venues of the www. One of the singers from the group saw it and said they would be up for an interview.
So the next day after I finished work and hurried over to the venue they were performing at, not sure when they were supposed to be done or if they were even still around.
But the god of journalism, I call him Journalisto, was smiling down on me, because I got there just as they were walking out of the building to load their gear.
I got some interview stuff with two of the singers, the sound level was a little low but it was way better than the nothing I had previously.
So I left there on a journalistic high and it has been carrying me until now. I spent a large chunk of my day off on Sunday putting the video together. I have most of my recent "highlight" videos boiled down to an hour or so production time.
But because I cared about this video (and am using a crappy free video editor) I spent hours nitpicking the placement and overlaps and transitions. Now I feel like I know these people, I've developed crushes on the girls and fascinations with all of their talents. I've watched a few of their videos online, one where they do a flash mob style singing on a subway in London was awesome.
So I present to you, my Swingle Singers video. Enjoy, I did. :D
Thursday, March 22, 2012
...And now for something completely different
In the last week I have created six videos for the newspaper.
I was doing videos fairly regularly during football season but, due to both my work computer and my home computer being slow, making the videos became very annoying. My home computer was slightly faster, so I did most of them here...until it blew up.
Some stuff fried inside my computer, luckily I didn't lose any stuff on my hard drives, but I'm trying to be a bit more focused on archiving.
But I had to fix my computer. Luckily there was a credit deal at newegg.com, so now my computer fasterific! That's right, I'm making up words.
What I really want to do is make a true journalistic video about something that matters. I was hoping to get some help as far as subject matter, but it's looking like I'm just going to have to go it alone.
Anyway, instead of a pile of photos I thought I'd change it up and post some videos. Enjoy.
Since I started posting videos I was looking at The Facts Video channel on youtube. I realized they aren't really credited except for at the end, not saying you shouldn't watch Holly's, but you are reading my blog...so just in case you are partial to my work, here are a few of my better ones.
This was the one I had the most fun shooting so far with actual voice interview describing the event to go along with the video and photos. And there is...ya know, ZOMBIES!
I was doing videos fairly regularly during football season but, due to both my work computer and my home computer being slow, making the videos became very annoying. My home computer was slightly faster, so I did most of them here...until it blew up.
Some stuff fried inside my computer, luckily I didn't lose any stuff on my hard drives, but I'm trying to be a bit more focused on archiving.
But I had to fix my computer. Luckily there was a credit deal at newegg.com, so now my computer fasterific! That's right, I'm making up words.
What I really want to do is make a true journalistic video about something that matters. I was hoping to get some help as far as subject matter, but it's looking like I'm just going to have to go it alone.
Anyway, instead of a pile of photos I thought I'd change it up and post some videos. Enjoy.
Since I started posting videos I was looking at The Facts Video channel on youtube. I realized they aren't really credited except for at the end, not saying you shouldn't watch Holly's, but you are reading my blog...so just in case you are partial to my work, here are a few of my better ones.
This was the one I had the most fun shooting so far with actual voice interview describing the event to go along with the video and photos. And there is...ya know, ZOMBIES!
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Running
I've been floating day-to-day here. I'm feeling uninspired. I need a photo story to work on, like my Digmann or Jacob projects. I told my editor I would like them to post a call for idea submissions on the facebook for me to do a story on, but it has yet to be posted.
I need this. I need something to occupy myself - to drive my work forward. In Michigan at this time I would have just had my photojournalistic batteries recharged by attending the Michigan Press Photographers Association annual banquet. Watching professional visual people judge the works of the best photographers in the state is unmatched in experiences...even if you don't win anything.
I didn't enter anything to MPPA for 2010, which was stupid, because I had some decent stuff. But really it was the experience of watching as your photo comes on screen, hearing maybe a few rumbles of comments from the crowd and then having your hopes dashed when the "out. out. out" sounds out from the judges. Having one win, or even be held to the second round of judging, is dizzying.
But mostly it is just seeing what all these great visual artists can do in a year will really kick you right in the face when you have settled into a kind of rut at your paper.
I always try, despite the toll it takes on me sometimes, to keep a fresh log of photographers that are better than me. These days CMU is cranking out classes that I would have a tough time of breaking into the middle of. It's cool, from my time there and at the Sun, seeing some of these kids after me become amazing photographers. It makes me feel like a piece of crap, but it's amazing to watch.
That said...here are some photos.
On a non photo front, I've been trying to run in the mornings.
My bike was broken for a little while and I was starting to get out of the habit, so I just went down to the track near my house and tried to run.
It's been slow going, because I'm out of shape. Riding a bike is pretty easy, so I've been diluting myself. Riding almost 20 miles seems like a lot, but I need to ride that many to really work up a sweat.
The big hindrance to running is my knees suck, but I've been trying to fight through it. I got a brace thing and after a few days some actual running shoes.
Ran a few tour de stades or whatever the hell you call them, when you run up and down all the steps in a stadium. Had to drive a short ways to the big football field to get some real steps, but it fits my running style better, I think.
I've always liked running up steps, I feel like if I stop I'm going to regret it. Running on flat ground is too easy to give up on.
I'm weird.
I need this. I need something to occupy myself - to drive my work forward. In Michigan at this time I would have just had my photojournalistic batteries recharged by attending the Michigan Press Photographers Association annual banquet. Watching professional visual people judge the works of the best photographers in the state is unmatched in experiences...even if you don't win anything.
I didn't enter anything to MPPA for 2010, which was stupid, because I had some decent stuff. But really it was the experience of watching as your photo comes on screen, hearing maybe a few rumbles of comments from the crowd and then having your hopes dashed when the "out. out. out" sounds out from the judges. Having one win, or even be held to the second round of judging, is dizzying.
But mostly it is just seeing what all these great visual artists can do in a year will really kick you right in the face when you have settled into a kind of rut at your paper.
I always try, despite the toll it takes on me sometimes, to keep a fresh log of photographers that are better than me. These days CMU is cranking out classes that I would have a tough time of breaking into the middle of. It's cool, from my time there and at the Sun, seeing some of these kids after me become amazing photographers. It makes me feel like a piece of crap, but it's amazing to watch.
That said...here are some photos.
On a non photo front, I've been trying to run in the mornings.
My bike was broken for a little while and I was starting to get out of the habit, so I just went down to the track near my house and tried to run.
It's been slow going, because I'm out of shape. Riding a bike is pretty easy, so I've been diluting myself. Riding almost 20 miles seems like a lot, but I need to ride that many to really work up a sweat.
The big hindrance to running is my knees suck, but I've been trying to fight through it. I got a brace thing and after a few days some actual running shoes.
Ran a few tour de stades or whatever the hell you call them, when you run up and down all the steps in a stadium. Had to drive a short ways to the big football field to get some real steps, but it fits my running style better, I think.
I've always liked running up steps, I feel like if I stop I'm going to regret it. Running on flat ground is too easy to give up on.
I'm weird.
Friday, February 3, 2012
Rumors of my death have been exaggerated
Yes, I am in fact still alive.
I've been a swirling mix of busy, bored to death not busy, completely engulfed by some video games and tired. Most of these situations have also had a nice coating of pain from a re-occurring back pain that makes me so angry that I attach the hate to what I am currently doing.
It has some complicated thoughts and evaluations of my lot in life. But in moments of pain or the sweet joy of...not pain I still take photos.
I have quite the backlog to post, but luckily I have just put together my end-of-year contest submissions. I have total control over my National Press Photographers submission, but the ones through the paper were chosen from my initial selection by people I will admit I don't entirely trust as far as photo critiquing goes.
I love having eyes other than my own to look at my stuff, so I can get a unattached opinion, but if it is someone that has told me to stop doing my job creatively...well, come on.
Anyway, things are progressing.
I will admit in the months since my last post my passion for journalism is waning, which breaks my fucking heart. But I'm not sure how much validity to give to my thoughts right now, because I seem to have lapsed into one of my angry Ryan phases. It's been a long time since I've been in one and I have to say I used to kind of enjoy the distance it provided me from real self evaluation. But this one is different and I don't like it. So I've turned back to one of my old favorite venting techniques (besides video games), writing. Which is partially why I am clicking the keys right now.
Even if I hold back some of what I want to say, the process of just writing what is currently running through my head is like opening a gate to release the flood waters. Because at any moment something stark and truthful might just appear on the screen. Usually I will backspace over it, because this is a public forum and I don't want the entire world (Hi, world!) to know everything I think. But it works like those letters you write and then never send. Venting.
Okay, so here are some of what I think are my best work from the year that I haven't already posted. As I'm loading the photos on I may describe what I did or the story behind the image, if it is interesting.
I'll start with what I think is my favorite shot from the year.
Shot an event for a bunch of Marines returning from Afghanistan, but got there an hour and a half before they actually showed up. So I had some time to wander around and find interesting photos. I like almost everything about this photo.
Firefighter training. I felt brave standing right under this mock roof that they were swinging an axe into.
This is was a freaking awesome event. This local taekwondo studio hosted a squad from Korea that did some straight-up Matrix kung-fu shit. Jumping off a couple dudes to kick a board held on the top dude on a pyramid of STANDING people! I got some sweet stuff I was out loud saying "holy shit" about every other setup that they did. Then I got back to the office and my memory card corrupted and I lost every picture except this one and another. It was LAME!
He was trying to choke the chicken...too easy
He turned 11 on 11/11/11
Ending with my favorite sports shot of the year. Trying to do this same effect with a different runningback but the shot never worked with that kid.
Well, that's it for now.
I've had some decent stuff in January, including driving to Houston just to shoot tailgating at the Texans playoff game. It was kind of tease, but then I almost got run over by a car...so there was that.
I'll get to that stuff soon...hopefully. Or maybe in six months. :D
I've been a swirling mix of busy, bored to death not busy, completely engulfed by some video games and tired. Most of these situations have also had a nice coating of pain from a re-occurring back pain that makes me so angry that I attach the hate to what I am currently doing.
It has some complicated thoughts and evaluations of my lot in life. But in moments of pain or the sweet joy of...not pain I still take photos.
I have quite the backlog to post, but luckily I have just put together my end-of-year contest submissions. I have total control over my National Press Photographers submission, but the ones through the paper were chosen from my initial selection by people I will admit I don't entirely trust as far as photo critiquing goes.
I love having eyes other than my own to look at my stuff, so I can get a unattached opinion, but if it is someone that has told me to stop doing my job creatively...well, come on.
Anyway, things are progressing.
I will admit in the months since my last post my passion for journalism is waning, which breaks my fucking heart. But I'm not sure how much validity to give to my thoughts right now, because I seem to have lapsed into one of my angry Ryan phases. It's been a long time since I've been in one and I have to say I used to kind of enjoy the distance it provided me from real self evaluation. But this one is different and I don't like it. So I've turned back to one of my old favorite venting techniques (besides video games), writing. Which is partially why I am clicking the keys right now.
Even if I hold back some of what I want to say, the process of just writing what is currently running through my head is like opening a gate to release the flood waters. Because at any moment something stark and truthful might just appear on the screen. Usually I will backspace over it, because this is a public forum and I don't want the entire world (Hi, world!) to know everything I think. But it works like those letters you write and then never send. Venting.
Okay, so here are some of what I think are my best work from the year that I haven't already posted. As I'm loading the photos on I may describe what I did or the story behind the image, if it is interesting.
I'll start with what I think is my favorite shot from the year.
Shot an event for a bunch of Marines returning from Afghanistan, but got there an hour and a half before they actually showed up. So I had some time to wander around and find interesting photos. I like almost everything about this photo.
Firefighter training. I felt brave standing right under this mock roof that they were swinging an axe into.
This is was a freaking awesome event. This local taekwondo studio hosted a squad from Korea that did some straight-up Matrix kung-fu shit. Jumping off a couple dudes to kick a board held on the top dude on a pyramid of STANDING people! I got some sweet stuff I was out loud saying "holy shit" about every other setup that they did. Then I got back to the office and my memory card corrupted and I lost every picture except this one and another. It was LAME!
He was trying to choke the chicken...too easy
He turned 11 on 11/11/11
Ending with my favorite sports shot of the year. Trying to do this same effect with a different runningback but the shot never worked with that kid.
Well, that's it for now.
I've had some decent stuff in January, including driving to Houston just to shoot tailgating at the Texans playoff game. It was kind of tease, but then I almost got run over by a car...so there was that.
I'll get to that stuff soon...hopefully. Or maybe in six months. :D
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Photographic Ventilation
A recent study found that photojournalists have the fourth most stressful job in the country.
And that the average salary is $43,000. I believe the study is more on the current war photographer slant than us domestic photographers...but I still agree with it. There is some stress, a lot of it is annoying and pointless. I'd really like to make $43k too.
My biggest stress currently is that I try to make dynamic story telling art and my best photos don't always get used in the paper. Why? I don't know.
It's starting to annoy me, I haven't mentioned it to anyone in power at the paper yet...but I'm getting close. How am I supposed to win awards and establish myself here if only my 3rd or 4th best images go in the paper?
Photography in general is one of those things that a lot of people think they can do, and for the most part it is. Anyone can pick up a camera and take a shot, but that doesn't mean it will be good.
That is why there are professional photographers. To steal an line from Louis C.K. talking about comedians; It's like football. Anyone can play football in their backyard, but it doesn't mean people will pay to watch it.
Anyway, partially vented now.
This was from a fire department fundraiser at Baskin Robbins. Just really like her expression. She is looking up at the ladder truck that you can see reflected in the window. I wanted to get up close and focus on just her and the window, but she saw me and smiled...ruining my cool shot.
I finally got to go on one of the rivers around here. The San Bernard River has a "Friends of..." organization and a lady said I could go out with them some time, but then never called me. But last week I covered a river clean up and got to see a little bit of the river. She told me she had lost my card, but found it I got to tag along on one of their garbage sweeps. Super sweet, I want to get a kayak and row around...but not sure how to handle getting back.
I'm not a greenpeace, pot smoking hippie...but it really bothers me that people throw their garbage into rivers and oceans.
This pile of crap was picked up in the hour I was on the boat and there is more out of frame.
Why? One of the people on the boat with me said a few years ago there were tons of appliances pulled out of the river. How hard is it to go to the fucking dump? Grr.
I'm not going to post the picture, because it makes me mad to look at it, but I was shooting a teacher appreciation thing at a school today and this littler jerkface ruined my picture.
This class rented a limo for their teacher because she'd never been in one, and they did a surprise reveal thing outside and one of the kids was smiling and staring at me, so I moved to cut him out of the frame. And the little bastard stuck his hand in front of my lens while the teacher was reacting to the limo coming up in front of her. Then the little brat did it again after I told him to not do that. I wanted to punch a first grader, well, not really. But I wanted to tell his mom on him, jerk. I wish it was 20-30 years ago and I could have spanked him and called his mother so she could spank him more when he got home. But back then he probably would have been more well behaved.
Little shit. Haha. There, ventilated nicely. Core temperature back to normal.
I also shot a business portrait today, it was actually for an advertisement but I didn't know that at the time. I was pretty pleased with it for not having a whole lot of stuff to work with since the place was under construction. The girl was cool and waited while I paced around like a loony person looking for the best spot and angle.
The sign is actually reflected in the mirror, so you can read it. Yeah...I'm a genius. :D
And that the average salary is $43,000. I believe the study is more on the current war photographer slant than us domestic photographers...but I still agree with it. There is some stress, a lot of it is annoying and pointless. I'd really like to make $43k too.
My biggest stress currently is that I try to make dynamic story telling art and my best photos don't always get used in the paper. Why? I don't know.
It's starting to annoy me, I haven't mentioned it to anyone in power at the paper yet...but I'm getting close. How am I supposed to win awards and establish myself here if only my 3rd or 4th best images go in the paper?
Photography in general is one of those things that a lot of people think they can do, and for the most part it is. Anyone can pick up a camera and take a shot, but that doesn't mean it will be good.
That is why there are professional photographers. To steal an line from Louis C.K. talking about comedians; It's like football. Anyone can play football in their backyard, but it doesn't mean people will pay to watch it.
Anyway, partially vented now.
This was from a fire department fundraiser at Baskin Robbins. Just really like her expression. She is looking up at the ladder truck that you can see reflected in the window. I wanted to get up close and focus on just her and the window, but she saw me and smiled...ruining my cool shot.
I finally got to go on one of the rivers around here. The San Bernard River has a "Friends of..." organization and a lady said I could go out with them some time, but then never called me. But last week I covered a river clean up and got to see a little bit of the river. She told me she had lost my card, but found it I got to tag along on one of their garbage sweeps. Super sweet, I want to get a kayak and row around...but not sure how to handle getting back.
I'm not a greenpeace, pot smoking hippie...but it really bothers me that people throw their garbage into rivers and oceans.
This pile of crap was picked up in the hour I was on the boat and there is more out of frame.
Why? One of the people on the boat with me said a few years ago there were tons of appliances pulled out of the river. How hard is it to go to the fucking dump? Grr.
I'm not going to post the picture, because it makes me mad to look at it, but I was shooting a teacher appreciation thing at a school today and this littler jerkface ruined my picture.
This class rented a limo for their teacher because she'd never been in one, and they did a surprise reveal thing outside and one of the kids was smiling and staring at me, so I moved to cut him out of the frame. And the little bastard stuck his hand in front of my lens while the teacher was reacting to the limo coming up in front of her. Then the little brat did it again after I told him to not do that. I wanted to punch a first grader, well, not really. But I wanted to tell his mom on him, jerk. I wish it was 20-30 years ago and I could have spanked him and called his mother so she could spank him more when he got home. But back then he probably would have been more well behaved.
Little shit. Haha. There, ventilated nicely. Core temperature back to normal.
I also shot a business portrait today, it was actually for an advertisement but I didn't know that at the time. I was pretty pleased with it for not having a whole lot of stuff to work with since the place was under construction. The girl was cool and waited while I paced around like a loony person looking for the best spot and angle.
The sign is actually reflected in the mirror, so you can read it. Yeah...I'm a genius. :D
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Tears of the Innocent
Like the soul sucking vampire bastard I am, the tears of innocent people cleanse my pasty skin like clean, cool spring water.
Well, not exactly. I'm never super comfortable when people are crying, but it does make for powerful photos.
A person is in front of your lens at their most truthful and exposed moment. It's a bit of weight to make sure you capture the moment in the most thoughtful way possible.
Texas A&M have a muster every year, where grads from the school get together and be merry. At the end they remember any alums that have died in a candle lighting ceremony.
It was nice, very dark, but nice.
On the flip side of that event, crying can be fun.
I kind of felt like a Nazi, laughing and taking pictures as some of these kids bawling their eyes out...but it was pretty funny.
Just a quick one this time. But on a creative related update, I've been writing almost every night. I have the urge every so often and I have a folder full of started stories. Some a page long, some twenty.
This one is up to 40 now, and I haven't gotten to the part I'm really thinking about. So it's working pretty well.
It's sort of a weird fiction/autobiography that I'm having a lot of fun writing.
I was thinking about posting some of it, but I'm always weird about letting people read stuff before it's finished...unless it's Jada, because she's been reading my stuff since high school. Normally I feel like I have to stand there to justify and explain things, in case there is some confusion.
Anyway, we'll see where it goes.
Well, not exactly. I'm never super comfortable when people are crying, but it does make for powerful photos.
A person is in front of your lens at their most truthful and exposed moment. It's a bit of weight to make sure you capture the moment in the most thoughtful way possible.
Texas A&M have a muster every year, where grads from the school get together and be merry. At the end they remember any alums that have died in a candle lighting ceremony.
It was nice, very dark, but nice.
On the flip side of that event, crying can be fun.
I kind of felt like a Nazi, laughing and taking pictures as some of these kids bawling their eyes out...but it was pretty funny.
Just a quick one this time. But on a creative related update, I've been writing almost every night. I have the urge every so often and I have a folder full of started stories. Some a page long, some twenty.
This one is up to 40 now, and I haven't gotten to the part I'm really thinking about. So it's working pretty well.
It's sort of a weird fiction/autobiography that I'm having a lot of fun writing.
I was thinking about posting some of it, but I'm always weird about letting people read stuff before it's finished...unless it's Jada, because she's been reading my stuff since high school. Normally I feel like I have to stand there to justify and explain things, in case there is some confusion.
Anyway, we'll see where it goes.
Monday, April 4, 2011
To Live or to merely Exist
I try not to lie.
Weird words from a journalist.
That isn't exactly the slogan you'd expect under the masthead.
The Evon Chronicle
"We try not to lie"
Nowadays even that much might make some readers feel a little better. But for my own
part, my own life...I try not to lie.
I figured starting out that if I'm in the business of truth, I might as well live the life. That
way my path is flat and the course would be correct. Keep me away from those slippery
slopes, because they are out there, waiting for unprepared feet.
So in the spirit of honesty I will admit, I've been lying to you. Friends, family, Latvian
Photo lovers (that one really pains me), I have wronged you and I'm sorry.
Just simple lies, lies of omission.
But I did it mostly out of self preservation and a bit of courtesy and cowardice.SEE the slippery slope and beware!
People have secrets and that's okay, you shouldn't tell everyone everything. That would
be ridiculous and then MTV would come to your house and want to make a stupid show
about how you are a freaking moron whore.
But I haven't been saying what I wanted to say.
Writing started off as my catharsis in high school. I couldn't talk about anything real, my
throat just kind of closed up and only my hands would still work. So out the words
poured.
But for awhile I've only been letting little bits go in different spots. It felt like enough at
the time, but I think the water has just been continually rising behind the dam and if I
don't let more than a few bits out at a time I might wet my pants. Wait, that analogy
lost all its power. I'm a little tired...and have to pee.
I'm back and drained a little. So, writing omissions.
The sentence would be right there, with the cursor blinking impatiently behind it. As if to
say, "Did you really just write that? BLINK What if _______ reads it? BLINK
Delete it now. BLINK BLINK"
Well, in one of my random readings of Hunter S. Thompson I just kind of realized that he
didn't have any kind of filter on his brain. Lucky for him, he worked in a time where that
was okay, unique and actually a little bit necessary.
The world isn't the same. Now people share their every thought with the world, even the ones no one could possibly give a crap about. And I haven't even been writing about genuine issues.
So be warned, I'm saying what I want and what I feel from here on out.
Like or leave it, it'll be true.
"So we shall let the reader answer this question for himself: Who is the happier man, he
who has braved the storm of life and lived, or he who has stayed securely on shore and
merely existed?" - Dr. Hunter S. Thompson
Sometimes I don't feel like I'm actually living, just existing. It is awful, and I don't entirely know what I need to do.
Moving to Texas was the first real thing I've done in a long time. But I kind of already feel like I'm back in a routine.
After starting the driving one I have grown a taste for serial writing I guess.
Another HST quote to end this gibberish.
"When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro." - Hunter S. Thompson
Weird words from a journalist.
That isn't exactly the slogan you'd expect under the masthead.
The Evon Chronicle
"We try not to lie"
Nowadays even that much might make some readers feel a little better. But for my own
part, my own life...I try not to lie.
I figured starting out that if I'm in the business of truth, I might as well live the life. That
way my path is flat and the course would be correct. Keep me away from those slippery
slopes, because they are out there, waiting for unprepared feet.
So in the spirit of honesty I will admit, I've been lying to you. Friends, family, Latvian
Photo lovers (that one really pains me), I have wronged you and I'm sorry.
Just simple lies, lies of omission.
But I did it mostly out of self preservation and a bit of courtesy and cowardice.SEE the slippery slope and beware!
People have secrets and that's okay, you shouldn't tell everyone everything. That would
be ridiculous and then MTV would come to your house and want to make a stupid show
about how you are a freaking moron whore.
But I haven't been saying what I wanted to say.
Writing started off as my catharsis in high school. I couldn't talk about anything real, my
throat just kind of closed up and only my hands would still work. So out the words
poured.
But for awhile I've only been letting little bits go in different spots. It felt like enough at
the time, but I think the water has just been continually rising behind the dam and if I
don't let more than a few bits out at a time I might wet my pants. Wait, that analogy
lost all its power. I'm a little tired...and have to pee.
I'm back and drained a little. So, writing omissions.
The sentence would be right there, with the cursor blinking impatiently behind it. As if to
say, "Did you really just write that? BLINK What if _______ reads it? BLINK
Delete it now. BLINK BLINK"
Well, in one of my random readings of Hunter S. Thompson I just kind of realized that he
didn't have any kind of filter on his brain. Lucky for him, he worked in a time where that
was okay, unique and actually a little bit necessary.
The world isn't the same. Now people share their every thought with the world, even the ones no one could possibly give a crap about. And I haven't even been writing about genuine issues.
So be warned, I'm saying what I want and what I feel from here on out.
Like or leave it, it'll be true.
"So we shall let the reader answer this question for himself: Who is the happier man, he
who has braved the storm of life and lived, or he who has stayed securely on shore and
merely existed?" - Dr. Hunter S. Thompson
Sometimes I don't feel like I'm actually living, just existing. It is awful, and I don't entirely know what I need to do.
Moving to Texas was the first real thing I've done in a long time. But I kind of already feel like I'm back in a routine.
After starting the driving one I have grown a taste for serial writing I guess.
Another HST quote to end this gibberish.
"When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro." - Hunter S. Thompson
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Cycles of Obsession
Been putting up a lot of words, already started Part 2 of my Driving Texas piece, but decided to throw some pictures on to break up the text-fest.
Since that is what I actually do.
This ran black and white in the paper, but still looked cool
I expressed my fondness for the newsroom previously and those feelings are the same for the Journalism vein of photography. I love it. But I love plain ol' photography at its most base level. I started in Art photo classes and that is where my eye grew and matured into the always searching, narrowed-by-the-sun Clint Eastwood-style blue hawk that it has become.
On a recent assignment I photographed some local artists who got together for a sidewalk demonstration/sale. It made me think about something I imagine every so often, having a show/sale of my work.
Obviously can't sell my newspaper work, but I could have it on display with work that I can sell. It would be fun. But expensive and that is usually where I stop thinking about it. But now that I'm near a huge city, I'm wondering if I could find a gallery or something that would sell/show my stuff at little cost to me.
Starting to look into it, but then I start to really go over what I have and doubt if anyone would actually want to buy stuff I've shot. At the paper people buy my photos but they never buy the cool ones, just stupid shots of their dumb kids. Haha
Intense
Some of the best ones I've shot people don't buy. It baffles my mind. If this were my kid I'd buy a freaking poster of this...and then find the photographer and give him a thousand dollars just out of gratitude. *fingers crossed*
But I've been thinking of making more of an effort to expand my artistic portfolio on my off time. Do a dual-time bike ride/art hunt around town or maybe in Houston every so often. But then I also try to look for actual work to do on the side, so there is a time issue.
The Texas AP awards came back and I got nothing. Which sucks. I was only working in Texas a few months of 2010, but still. Award time is always stressful and then fulfilling for me. But if I don't win anything it just leaves the first stressful part that sucks.
I don't know about Michigan contests yet. I was dumb and didn't enter anything in the Michigan Press Photographers contest, for some stupid reason I can't figure out. So I've got to rely on the hope that other people submitted my stuff in the two other MI newspaper contests. Which is tough for me. Relying on others, that is. I have done okay in the past and my two photo stories should do well, based on the quality of stories I've entered in the past. If everything got done right...again *fingers crossed*
Been working, thinking, working, thinking. It really keeps me from getting other stuff done. Like my taxes. Barely moved a bit on those and I really should, because I moved and all that. So I'm sure I've got a lot more to do. I HATE them. Even though I get money back. Filling out all these little boxes on the stupid forms makes my fucking head pound. But I'm stubborn and don't want to pay someone to do them. Then two weeks away I freak out. I'm done talking about it because it's stressing me out right now. Stupid little boxes!
This was fun. A quilt show...seriously. Lots of pretty colors, but it was to run in black & white, so I found a B&W quilt to focus on.
That's all I have for now. Actually, it's not. But I am going to stop here anyway.
I probably have another few driving related blogs in me, because it's something I've been fixated on lately.
I've been going in weird cycles of obsession. Cars, games, writing, exercise, games, writing, fish, beer, cars (not one right after the other though), and so on.
Since that is what I actually do.
This ran black and white in the paper, but still looked cool
I expressed my fondness for the newsroom previously and those feelings are the same for the Journalism vein of photography. I love it. But I love plain ol' photography at its most base level. I started in Art photo classes and that is where my eye grew and matured into the always searching, narrowed-by-the-sun Clint Eastwood-style blue hawk that it has become.
On a recent assignment I photographed some local artists who got together for a sidewalk demonstration/sale. It made me think about something I imagine every so often, having a show/sale of my work.
Obviously can't sell my newspaper work, but I could have it on display with work that I can sell. It would be fun. But expensive and that is usually where I stop thinking about it. But now that I'm near a huge city, I'm wondering if I could find a gallery or something that would sell/show my stuff at little cost to me.
Starting to look into it, but then I start to really go over what I have and doubt if anyone would actually want to buy stuff I've shot. At the paper people buy my photos but they never buy the cool ones, just stupid shots of their dumb kids. Haha
Intense
Some of the best ones I've shot people don't buy. It baffles my mind. If this were my kid I'd buy a freaking poster of this...and then find the photographer and give him a thousand dollars just out of gratitude. *fingers crossed*
But I've been thinking of making more of an effort to expand my artistic portfolio on my off time. Do a dual-time bike ride/art hunt around town or maybe in Houston every so often. But then I also try to look for actual work to do on the side, so there is a time issue.
The Texas AP awards came back and I got nothing. Which sucks. I was only working in Texas a few months of 2010, but still. Award time is always stressful and then fulfilling for me. But if I don't win anything it just leaves the first stressful part that sucks.
I don't know about Michigan contests yet. I was dumb and didn't enter anything in the Michigan Press Photographers contest, for some stupid reason I can't figure out. So I've got to rely on the hope that other people submitted my stuff in the two other MI newspaper contests. Which is tough for me. Relying on others, that is. I have done okay in the past and my two photo stories should do well, based on the quality of stories I've entered in the past. If everything got done right...again *fingers crossed*
Been working, thinking, working, thinking. It really keeps me from getting other stuff done. Like my taxes. Barely moved a bit on those and I really should, because I moved and all that. So I'm sure I've got a lot more to do. I HATE them. Even though I get money back. Filling out all these little boxes on the stupid forms makes my fucking head pound. But I'm stubborn and don't want to pay someone to do them. Then two weeks away I freak out. I'm done talking about it because it's stressing me out right now. Stupid little boxes!
This was fun. A quilt show...seriously. Lots of pretty colors, but it was to run in black & white, so I found a B&W quilt to focus on.
That's all I have for now. Actually, it's not. But I am going to stop here anyway.
I probably have another few driving related blogs in me, because it's something I've been fixated on lately.
I've been going in weird cycles of obsession. Cars, games, writing, exercise, games, writing, fish, beer, cars (not one right after the other though), and so on.
Friday, March 18, 2011
Today is a slow day
Today is a slow day.
I usually come into work at 2pm, shoot 2 to 4 assignments on average and get out around 11. Some days are more jam packed.
Like my two day adventure in Austin. I didn't post a lot, because honestly the work wasn't super exciting, but being there was. But I racked up over 12 hours each day, just in the grind of covering different things.
Today is a slow day. Didn't come in until 3, because I worked over a bit yesterday and there is nothing for me to shoot until 6pm.
I could go home and clean a little. But I just feel like hanging out in the newsroom.
The Facts newsroom is cool. Little islands of desks with people working and interacting (sporadically sometimes, on both counts).
Our reporters desks are lined up, one behind the other, facing the front door of the building. Like torpedoes waiting to be fired out the tube at the first hint of news on the wind.
Our editor's office is across the room with a large window looking out over the crew. Kristina's desk is outside of it, I wouldn't call her a secretary (because she's kind of tough) but she helps keep things going.
There are a couple empty desks in between, of course, because this is a newspaper in the 21st century.
Sports guys are on the opposite side of the room as the reporters, with their desks facing the wall in a line, like they have done something wrong. But I think it might be a tact to keep them from watching sports on TV, like they are doing right now. MARCH MADNESS!!!
Then there is a cluster of six desks in the center of the room with four stations for layout and the two spots for photo.
The two photo desks face the front door, so we get to observe everyone in the newsroom. Which is probably a sharp idea, because we visually observe people for a living, so a little in-house training is a good idea.
Behind us is an open space that was where the darkroom was until just before I started. Now it is a space for a photo studio. There isn't a lot of room, or light control, so it can be a challenge, but it's not too bad.
All the desks in the building are just desks pushed together, no cubicles. Stand anywhere and you can look around and see anyone, besides the higher-ups that have offices.
To my right there is a large glass wall that parts the large, open room in two. Ads, classifieds and the rest of the departments that make up the company are over there. Most of their desks are full with several people who seem like they have been here for awhile. Family photos and the like, sprinkled on their desks to make them a little home.
I don't have a ton of interaction with people on that side. Every so often I need to ask something or one of them comes across the divide to get some info. I know some of their names, but not a lot. I'll get there.
Michael, our assistant editor, sits right in front of "my" desk (we share, because we only have one "good" mac). He has a automated egg candy dispenser thing that shoots candy into your hand when you wave under a partially hidden spout. But right now it would just make the whiney noise and maybe throw a few shattered M&M shells onto your palm because it is pathetic and empty.
There is a little bowl of emergency candy next to it, for such occasions. A Jolly Ranger orange smoothie flavored delight kept me going for a little while today.
Somedays I barely eat during the day because I have stuff to do and my memory is terrible. Wolfing down some cheap fast food in my car on the way from something to something else. Which is fun, trying to eat in a smallish car with a manual transmission. :D
Other days I go to the glorious candy egg for prayer several times before eventually I leave the building in a happy little sugar drunk.
I think this is why journalists of old usually had a bottle of some brown liquor in their desks. Because sometimes you have to do something and if there is no news happening and you are in the newsroom you either talk to people, eat or drink. Sometimes all three.
Today is a slow day. We don't even have any obit photos. That's how slow it is, no one is even planning a funeral.
One of the bad things about the last newsroom I worked in, on a fairly lengthy list to be sure, was it was so closed off. All of the desks were cubicles that people could hide in or sneak away from. I'm not saying cubicles are the cause of the laziness that plagued the paper, but if you are working and you know your boss can't see you...come on. Some people would work and some people wouldn't.
It was also very depressing there, because they were all prefab cubicle constructions. So when a position was down-sized, liquidated or whatever other fancy lingo is used to say "you're ass is outta here!" there was still the ghostly remnants of their job haunting up the joint. A sad, broken chair in front of a horrendously outdated monitor in a cubicle with stuff still tacked to the fuzzy walls.
Here at least they re-arranged some of the desks to and try to give some feng shui to the current decline of the American newspaper office. And it works. We see the empty desks, sure, but there isn't a row of unused space giving off the vibe of a ghetto in the middle of the room. Newsroom Redevelopment!
Little less than an hour before my only assignment today. That's just enough time for a plane to crash into a bus full of blind nuns at the same time a fire erupts in an orphanage on the opposite side of the county.
The one county we cover is just as large as the three covered by the Sun. But we've dialed back a bit, leaving some of the more northern area for the Houston Chronicle to cover I guess.
Makes sense.
It's after five, so most of the other side of the building is gone or working on it. FRIDAY! Wooo!
It's a cool job. I've heard myself say that to people several times over the last couple weeks. I say it without even thinking about it, because it's part of my small talk sometimes. People ask about the camera, how long I've been doing it, or how I like it.
I do. It is what I want to do. I could make more money in a studio or some other photo job. And I'm actually trying to find some stuff to do on the side, occasionally, so I can make a little extra money.
But I want to do this.
I want to be in the newsroom.
I usually come into work at 2pm, shoot 2 to 4 assignments on average and get out around 11. Some days are more jam packed.
Like my two day adventure in Austin. I didn't post a lot, because honestly the work wasn't super exciting, but being there was. But I racked up over 12 hours each day, just in the grind of covering different things.
Today is a slow day. Didn't come in until 3, because I worked over a bit yesterday and there is nothing for me to shoot until 6pm.
I could go home and clean a little. But I just feel like hanging out in the newsroom.
The Facts newsroom is cool. Little islands of desks with people working and interacting (sporadically sometimes, on both counts).
Our reporters desks are lined up, one behind the other, facing the front door of the building. Like torpedoes waiting to be fired out the tube at the first hint of news on the wind.
Our editor's office is across the room with a large window looking out over the crew. Kristina's desk is outside of it, I wouldn't call her a secretary (because she's kind of tough) but she helps keep things going.
There are a couple empty desks in between, of course, because this is a newspaper in the 21st century.
Sports guys are on the opposite side of the room as the reporters, with their desks facing the wall in a line, like they have done something wrong. But I think it might be a tact to keep them from watching sports on TV, like they are doing right now. MARCH MADNESS!!!
Then there is a cluster of six desks in the center of the room with four stations for layout and the two spots for photo.
The two photo desks face the front door, so we get to observe everyone in the newsroom. Which is probably a sharp idea, because we visually observe people for a living, so a little in-house training is a good idea.
Behind us is an open space that was where the darkroom was until just before I started. Now it is a space for a photo studio. There isn't a lot of room, or light control, so it can be a challenge, but it's not too bad.
All the desks in the building are just desks pushed together, no cubicles. Stand anywhere and you can look around and see anyone, besides the higher-ups that have offices.
To my right there is a large glass wall that parts the large, open room in two. Ads, classifieds and the rest of the departments that make up the company are over there. Most of their desks are full with several people who seem like they have been here for awhile. Family photos and the like, sprinkled on their desks to make them a little home.
I don't have a ton of interaction with people on that side. Every so often I need to ask something or one of them comes across the divide to get some info. I know some of their names, but not a lot. I'll get there.
Michael, our assistant editor, sits right in front of "my" desk (we share, because we only have one "good" mac). He has a automated egg candy dispenser thing that shoots candy into your hand when you wave under a partially hidden spout. But right now it would just make the whiney noise and maybe throw a few shattered M&M shells onto your palm because it is pathetic and empty.
There is a little bowl of emergency candy next to it, for such occasions. A Jolly Ranger orange smoothie flavored delight kept me going for a little while today.
Somedays I barely eat during the day because I have stuff to do and my memory is terrible. Wolfing down some cheap fast food in my car on the way from something to something else. Which is fun, trying to eat in a smallish car with a manual transmission. :D
Other days I go to the glorious candy egg for prayer several times before eventually I leave the building in a happy little sugar drunk.
I think this is why journalists of old usually had a bottle of some brown liquor in their desks. Because sometimes you have to do something and if there is no news happening and you are in the newsroom you either talk to people, eat or drink. Sometimes all three.
Today is a slow day. We don't even have any obit photos. That's how slow it is, no one is even planning a funeral.
One of the bad things about the last newsroom I worked in, on a fairly lengthy list to be sure, was it was so closed off. All of the desks were cubicles that people could hide in or sneak away from. I'm not saying cubicles are the cause of the laziness that plagued the paper, but if you are working and you know your boss can't see you...come on. Some people would work and some people wouldn't.
It was also very depressing there, because they were all prefab cubicle constructions. So when a position was down-sized, liquidated or whatever other fancy lingo is used to say "you're ass is outta here!" there was still the ghostly remnants of their job haunting up the joint. A sad, broken chair in front of a horrendously outdated monitor in a cubicle with stuff still tacked to the fuzzy walls.
Here at least they re-arranged some of the desks to and try to give some feng shui to the current decline of the American newspaper office. And it works. We see the empty desks, sure, but there isn't a row of unused space giving off the vibe of a ghetto in the middle of the room. Newsroom Redevelopment!
Little less than an hour before my only assignment today. That's just enough time for a plane to crash into a bus full of blind nuns at the same time a fire erupts in an orphanage on the opposite side of the county.
The one county we cover is just as large as the three covered by the Sun. But we've dialed back a bit, leaving some of the more northern area for the Houston Chronicle to cover I guess.
Makes sense.
It's after five, so most of the other side of the building is gone or working on it. FRIDAY! Wooo!
It's a cool job. I've heard myself say that to people several times over the last couple weeks. I say it without even thinking about it, because it's part of my small talk sometimes. People ask about the camera, how long I've been doing it, or how I like it.
I do. It is what I want to do. I could make more money in a studio or some other photo job. And I'm actually trying to find some stuff to do on the side, occasionally, so I can make a little extra money.
But I want to do this.
I want to be in the newsroom.
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