Don't Dew Me

For some reason at times I like to practice self deprivation. Being American, most of the time I enjoy over indulgence to a sickening extent and I don't really feel guilty about that, but I like to try to "go without," as it were.

A few months ago I decided, in a dual attempt to see if my random upset stomach attacks were dietary, I gave up alcohol. It took me 24 years to even get into alcohol, so I wasn't too attached to it.

Though I do love scotch. mmmmmmm

So a few weeks of that, there was no real progress either in depriving myself or with the stomach. So I stared down the big bear. The one thing I have ever been addicted to; caffeine.

That's a tough one to give up, my dad drinks more Mountain Dew in a day than the whole of the Mid Michigan area and on certain days I have put quite a few down myself.

It's ingrained in Evon DNA, I'm sure, to imbibe carbonated, caffeinated liquid goodness until there is nothing left at the bottom of that green bottle and then look longingly into said bottle like it just shot your puppy.

"How could you do it Dew? We had such a good time together and now you are gone! Oh, here's another bottle. I love you, Dew."

I wasn't a take-anything-I-could-get, sell-myself-on-the-street kind of addict. I was more of a cocaine connoisseur who only takes blow made from the best coca the Upper Huallaga Valley in Peru has to offer. (HonestyCheck: I Wiki'd that. I don't know jack crap about real drugs, now back to my fun)

I only dabbled in the off brands in my youth, when cares were free and money was scarce; Kick, Faygo's Moon Mist and Mountain Lightning were cheaper choices than the almighty Dew.

In my teens however my taste buds matured and grew to quite large size and couldn't even drink Dew that was a few days over it's expiration or had been shaken too much. (Which has also hindered me in my scotch enjoyment. Blended scotch? What is this, the Great Depression?)

Single malt is Dew. Blended scotch is Coke's random attempts to copy Dew. Mellow Yellow had not only a unappealing name, but tasted like a Dew left open in the basement for 12 years. Surge...terrible. Vault, meh. Entertaining commercials don't a good product make.

But now I have stopped. I had a Dew yesterday, actually, and it was quite the sad addict moment. In the office, things were stressed and I needed one. I could just feel it in my bones that everything would be better if I could have one; I just gotta get my fix and none of this will matter.

So about once a week now, I'll have something with caffeine, more often some carbonated, decaf trickery to fool myself. Squirt, Root beer, Sprit. Decaf Coke. I saw a 12 pack of Caffeine free Mountain Dew, once. That was several years ago. It did taste different, doesn't seem like it should; Coke does but only a tiny bit.

But I'm recovering. Don't know if it was the caffeine or just all the sugar, but I feel...lighter, in mind and body. Minus the crippling head aches the first couple days, it has gone smoothly.

How long I keep clean, we'll see. One day at a time.