Driving Texas : Part 2 : The Roads

If you didn't read Part 1, well...do it! This is what Part 1 was supposed to be before the internet demons stole it. Sadly, this isn't quite as good as my original.

But it makes up for it by being really long...enjoy.

Fun Driving:
A big part of driving enjoyment depends on the road. I’ve found some fun roads in the area and I actually think it would be fun to do a story or something for the paper about driving in the area.

A lot of the roads down here are done well, there are some rough surfaces here and there, but most are good. No six month deathly winter freeze to crack and ravage last summer’s two inches of fresh asphalt on some sad Michigan road.

Here the roads, at least the new ones, seem to be properly laid. With depth and foundation that lead one to believe that actual thought went into the construction. It’s enough to amaze and confuse someone from a strange, snowy place.

There are definitely some nice roads around for an enthused motorist; curvy, smooth ribbons of beauty that just lay there, waiting for you to ravage them in whatever fashion you please. I haven’t got a lot to say yet about recreational driving, because I haven’t had a ton. But I'm compiling a list...don't you worry.

But aside from driving on the beach (which is so much fun it should be illegal…actually, I think at my speed it was) the BlueWater Highway is a beautiful, fun drive.

It’s a flat, mostly straight burn from Surfside Beach to Galveston. It follows the gulf coast for 30 miles or so onto Galveston Island. Nothing but grass, sand, water and in places loads of beach houses that rile up the envy in the nicest person. There is a two dollar bridge toll to get onto the island, but it’s worth it.

Actual Driving:
The day-to-day roads are where I have the most ammo to talk about so far.

Texas, in all its wisdom, doesn’t seem to believe in blinking red left turn lights. It makes for some long waits at lights where NO ONE is coming the other way.

One of the routes I used to travel frequently is Business 288 that runs from Clute to Angleton.

It’s only about 7 or 8 miles, but when the driving gods aren’t smiling down upon you it can be the mother of all multi-lane migraines.

About halfway to my goal I come to a stop under the sneering gaze of a light turned red for no reason at all. Not a single car coming the other way. Hey, whatever, keep moving after the light, all is well.

While moving along in a peaceful automotive momentum, I am halted yet again by the ridiculous command of a red glowing devil bitch hanging above the street.

Maybe there is another car, but most of the time not a soul. Nothing. Now, I’m a little miffed. This is killing my mileage, because I rarely just take off. I drive a fun car with a manual transmission, so on an average light in a good mood I still take-off with…let’s call it “authority.”

Now, bathed by the sweet green freedom the Rabbit hops away (clever, huh?) from the light, the night air ripe with my freedom. I get back up to speed, applying the accelerator a tad more exuberant now to undo the pointless stoplight inconvenience.

The motion of shifting into fifth gear soothes my burning vehicular irritation as the next light turns yellow well before the point of no return.

On the frustrating roll up to the intersection my hands grip the steering wheel tight enough to make the wrapping creak as I look each way down the insignificant strip that cuts perpendicular under the stop light in front of me.

Nothing in sight. Not a single thing, not even the lights of a house in the far off distance. The road just disappears into the yawning darkness of this coastal Texas flat land. The area is flat enough you could see the curvature of the earth if there weren’t a mess of trees and brush.

288 B cuts a straight northish-to-southish sporadic strip of illumination through the mostly uninhabited stretch near the center of Brazoria County. Most of the roads that cross it need a yield sign, at best. Most of the roads don't look like they carry on more than a mile in either direction.

I’ve seen maybe ten cars cross my path on this road, and most of them just turned onto 288 B. If you can’t do that without a stoplight, you shouldn’t be driving.

As I am angrily looking down the two lane strip stabbing into the sad and lonely darkness I contemplate a criminal life. Just flick the switch from my now true path to depraved deviant who robs banks and runs red lights.

“Woah,” you say. “There is a wide gap between robbery and a vehicular moving violation.”

Yes, but let me take you on a journey.

If I’m going to run one of these stupid lights I’m going to run all of them. But then someone sees it, reports me and I have to try outrun the police. Which would be a little difficult in my Rabbit. Sure it’s quick, but it’s light. In pursuit they’d just have to tap my back-end and I’d be done, spinning off the road in my well engineered little German coffin.

So I’d have to get in a shootout with the cops, to keep moving. Of course there is a gun in the car, I’m a Texas outlaw. Come on!

Crap, I probably stole the gun and the car. But screw it, I don’t stop for red lights and I won’t stop now!

Maybe I make it to Mexico, maybe I don’t. I think I’ll have a Butch Cassidy & The Sundance Kid ending for my criminal spree. Sure, I’m surrounded, but I’ve got two guns and a crazy blue eyes. Watch out, coppers!

But then I’m released from the hold of the amber bitch and I motor on; continuing the simple life of slightly odd photojournalist in Texas.